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A collection of Jenny's humor pieces and essays published by Sarah Crichton Books at Farrar, Straus & Giroux. -
Postdivorce, I’m a Solo Act — MORE Magazine
For a while, what I missed most in changing from a married person into a single person was the act that we were as a couple. I don’t mean an act as in a piece of fakery, although toward the end it was kind of fake. I mean it in the sense of how we were when we went out in the world.…
Read the essay online or pick up the November 2013 issue of MORE Magazine
Speak, Memory: Jenny Allen in the New Yorker
You know what I’m tired of? People being so down on themselves for not remembering things. Doesn’t it seem like everyone you know over a certain age is spending way too much time saying, “Dammit, I just saw that movie yesterday, and I can’t remember what it’s called. This is terrible.” That’s so negative. Quitcherbellyachin’! Celebrate what you do remember!
For example, I was in Duane Reade the other day, forgetting what I was there for, and, yes, getting bummed out about it. Then I remembered that I was there for some kind of hair product, only I couldn’t remember what it was. Then I remembered that it was the stuff that comes in a bottle that you wash your hair with, but I couldn’t remember what it’s called, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to ask any of the employees to help me find it. Just as I was about to throw myself a great big pity party there in the hair-care aisle, my eye caught a display of those fake tortoiseshell headbands. And my brain said, “Lynne Tryforos.” Read more…
The Trouble with Nature — Jenny in The New Yorker, online
A lot of people who live in the city like to visit the country to get close to nature. Then, once they are in the country, they find that they needn’t go outdoors to get close to nature. Nature comes right inside, as if to prove some kind of point.
Often, it arrives in the form of gray, nickel-size spiders that have woven their webs in the upper corners of several rooms, and then crawl up and down the walls to start a new web in another corner. Some people get a paper towel and clear away the webs and spiders, but many worry that the spiders will crawl onto their bodies, and so leave the webs and spiders alone, avoiding corners of rooms altogether. Read more.
The Moth: 50 True Stories
Jenny has a story in The Moth: 50 True Stories, which just hit the New York Times Best Sellers List!
The book has also gotten great reviews in the New York Times Review of Books, The New York Times Sixth Floor Blog, and The Chicago Tribune, where it was an Editor’s Choice. See a complete list of the press for The Moth, and more information.
Buy it at your favorite local bookstore.
Jenny Allen in Kugelmass
Read Jenny’s piece, “Christian Mingle,” in Issue 4 of Kugelmass, a journal of literary humor. You can buy the print or digital versions here.
To the One Whom God Meant for Me, Greetings! Abundant thanks for clicking on me! I feel certain that in doing so, you are executing God’s plan for both of us, and I can only hope, after telling you a bit about myself, that you will agree.
The fact that you clicked on my “handle” without my having in- cluded a photo of myself tells me that you are almost certainly the kind of person God has planned for me—a person who likewise feels that photographs are Satan’s handiwork, leading to vainglorious sins such as personal grooming. Read more.
Once More Onto the Beach – in MORE Magazine
“I see it’s bathing suit season again. Time for some of us to pose the question “Is it possible to wear a skirted bathing suit ironically when at the same time you really need the skirt?” And of course, to answer that question: ‘No’.” Bathing suit season. Oooof. Why don’t I just aim a bow and arrow at my head right now? I’m kidding. I’m not going to aim it at my head. I’m going to aim it at my rear end.”
Read the whole article at: More.com
The Midlife Gal’s Guide to the Oscar Movies—in MORE Magazine
“Happy Academy Awards, ladies! Isn’t it fantastic how many films in the past year starred women over 40, sometimes way over 40? Here are my picks for Best Actress—none of these women has actually been nominated, but who cares. I say it’s never too late for a write-in campaign to acknowledge their contributions to these acclaimed films. Every one of these splendid thespians should win this Sunday!”
Read the whole article at More.com
“Dream On…” in Kugelmass
“Your own teenager is not yet in possession of the holy driver’s license, but the friends are, and now all you see is the dust behind the wheels of the friends’ parents’ cars as the children peel out of the driveway at 90 miles an hour, cans of Arizona Iced Tea the size of fire extinguishers in hand, off on their appointed rounds, for which they do not need you anymore.” Check out the third issue of Kugelmass for the full essay.
Jenny Allen in More Magazine
Check out this month’s issue of More Magazine for Jenny’s essay on parties shes loves, and parties she hates. She promises she’s not complaining about your party, so please invite her.
It’s a Noisy, Wonderful World — Good Housekeeping
“Deaf since infancy, Kelly Gilkey couldn’t hear the sounds of rain falling, birdsong, or her children calling from the next room. But now she can—thanks to an amazing surgery.…”
Check out page 59 of the December 2012 print issue of Good Housekeeping for more.
