The New Yorker: Bus Advisor

If I decide to make my trip by bus, what time should I get to Port Authority?

The first rule of long-distance bus travel is this: your bus ticket is for a chance at a seat on the bus, not a seat itself. If you arrive fifteen or twenty minutes in advance of your departure—the way you might, say, for a journey by train—the bus will already be full, as buses are routinely oversold, and you will need to wait two or three hours for the next bus. You’ll do best to arrive at Port Authority three to four hours in advance, so you can be at the head of the line at the gate.

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2012/09/bus-advisor.html#ixzz28kNhIHCX

The New Yorker: I’m a Mom

If you’re not a mom, you may not be a bad person, but you are an extraneous person. If there were something great about being a woman who is not a mom, something that added anything to America, if there were even one teeny-weeny example of how the non-moms hold America together the way moms do, Mrs. Romney would mention the childless gals. But she doesn’t, because there isn’t.

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2012/09/jenny-allen-im-a-mom.html#ixzz26O3IU44Y

More Magazine: The Cat on my Head

A few years ago I was diagnosed with cancer, and about five minutes later I started having chemotherapy. I expected to lose my hair, but I didn’t really care, because I’ve always felt a little distanced from it. I grew up in the ’60s and ’70s, when you were supposed have hair that fell in great lank sheets to your waist, but mine was naturally curly, so kids called me Medusa.

Buy the October issue of More magazine to read the piece.

Katie Couric Cover Story in Good Housekeeping

Check out Jenny’s profile of the Katie Couric on the cusp of a new career in the September issue of Good Housekeeping.

The Richness of Empty Evenings, More Magazine

I live alone. These things happen. Your children grow up, your husband leaves, and then you are a household of one. This is a happy story, I promise, but I do need to say this: Get ready, ladies. You may be next. And if and when you are, please, please try to remember what I am telling you now. You know how you never have enough time? You will have it. The very thing, that precious, out-of-reach, gleaming pot of gold you have been longing for! You will even have time on your hands. If you are wise, you will see it as a gift. If you are like me, you will have to do some stumbling around to get there.

 

 

Like so much in life, this story is about dinner. Dinner was how I spent almost 30 years of my life—making dinner, serving dinner and eating dinner with my family. Slipping chopped carrots into the meat loaf so that vegetables would be represented in the meal. Guiding dinner table conversation so that it yielded something loftier than burp jokes. And then, after dinner, overseeing homework, making sure children went to bed at a decent hour. It was the life I had chosen, and I think I was good at it, and most of the time I loved it. So when this ritual ended, I was totally unprepared for the expanse of time it left behind. With a few exceptions, I hadn’t spent an evening alone since my twenties. And now I had this huge hole where dinnertime used to be, this gaping Grand Canyon in which nothing was expected of me. Good Lord, what was I supposed to do?

 

At first, I couldn’t shake the feeling, hardwired after all those years, that I should be home. The light would fade at dusk, and I’d think, I’m supposed to be… Read the full story at More Magazine.

Jenny in NYTimes Sunday Styles Section

Check the New York Times‘s Sunday Styles section on March 18 for Jenny’s latest piece.

The New Yorker’s Culture Desk: Coffee Cake, Anyone?

Coffee Cake, Anyone?
By Jenny Allen

New on Our Morning Menu!

Espresso Doughnuts
Cake doughnut infused with three shots of espresso. (380 calories)
Try with: Doughnut Espresso
Shot of espresso topped with fresh doughnut batter. (380 calories)

Cocoa “Puffs” Puff pastry with all-cacao custard filling. (610 calories)
Try with: Cream Puff Cocoa
Our classic all-cacao cocoa topped with peppermint whipped cream, topped with Cocoa Puffs. (430 calories)

Cappuccino Whoopie Pie-lets
Three espresso-soaked mini chocolate cakes with cappuccino crème filling. (1380 calories)
Try with: Cakey Cappuccino
Our classic cappuccino, topped with…Read more at The New Yorker’s Culture Desk

Jenny in The New Yorker’s Shouts & Murmurs

Can I Borrow That?
The New Yorker‘s Shouts & Murmurs
August 29, 2011

You know how no one’s making kitten heels this year? It’s so weird—last year every shoe was a kitten heel, and now all the heels are like stilts again. I should’ve bought ten pairs. And now I can’t find the one pair I had. I think my cleaning lady took them. So can I borrow your alligator ones? Just put them by your front door in a plastic bag in case it rains. I’ll swing by as soon as I get a minute…read more.

Anthologies: Andy Borowitz’s 50 Funniest American Writers & In The Fullness of Time

The 50 Funniest American Writers, According to Andy Borowitz

In The Fullness of Time

Jenny Allen’s writings appear in Andy Borowitz’s new anthology, The 50 Funniest American Writers, as well as in In The Fullness of Time, an anthology about life after 50. Click on the book covers for more information.

Livestrong Quarterly

“I wasn’t mad that the cosmos had “given” me cancer…I was mad because I was terrified, and no one and nothing was making the terror go away.” Jenny was featured in Livestrong Quarterly. Click here to read the article.